Celebrating, how to--help

[desayunoencama]

I think that, in general, I don't celebrate enough in my life, and this is something I'd like to learn to do more.

I am very excited about the Lambda Literary Award, but I also feel... not so much jaded, but rather as if I've forgotten how to enjoy the enthusiasm, to let myself get giddy or worked up or whatever.

Of course, right now I'm at Berkana trying unsuccessfully to do some work, and it's POURING rain outside, which never does much to cheer up my state of mind. (This is a constant problem in my life, where good news and bad news often follow so close on one another's heels--for instance, getting invited somewhere interesting to speak and a book contract canceled on the same day--that I don't have time to really feel either the ups OR the downs.)

So, how does one celebrate more/better/etc.?

Especially solo?

That is, as I am now, without partner/family/friends around, what can I do to celebrate (aside from posting online, to share it with all of you)?

I think, in general, I probably ought to give myself more little rituals to break up the routine of the days. For instance, buying myself something (special/extra) if I win an award or sell a new book, something that will then have that memory attached to it.

The biggest problem, I guess, is that I'm a really lousy consumer.

There isn't necessarily much that I WANT, and I'm also not too good at spending money on myself in general, although if I am going to spend money I like getting things I will actually use... I have so many things (clothes especially) that I've bought and never use (sometimes have never worn) so I try to buy less, and of good quality, and use it lots.

And given my dietary restrictions, even going out for a celebratory meal with someone isn't quite as fun as it might otherwise be, since I don't really have tabs on anywhere I can eat, and eat well, and better than I can prepare for myself (not in terms of quality of the cooking but rather in terms of absence of allergen/reaction provoking ingredients).

In the case of the Lambda Literary Award, it's a lovely mantelplace item, but it doesn't necessarily bring in more $$$, so spending money (which is a concern these days with the dollar so low compared to the euro and the cost of living going up so fast) is something I'm careful about (so many years as a freelancer). But in terms of celebrating a new book, I can set some of the money aside as mad money.

The thing is I don't know what I'd spend it on.

Maybe I need advice on two things, then:

1) how to celebrate more/better, especially if one is on one's own

and

2) things I might want (and which are not exorbitant in price).

(On some levels it's useful, I guess, not really wanting things, it sort of means I either HAVE what I want or otherwise don't have the frustration of yearning for something, but on the other hand, I don't have small goals or rewards to work toward...)

Comments

[bondgwendabond.livejournal.com]

There's always something to be said for a nice celebratory dinner or fabulous bottle of wine/champagne/etc. Ephemeral and never that outrageously regrettable -- of course, if you're solo at the moment, you might want to postpone it until suitable company is available.

I wish I had the problem of not knowing what I want to buy. :)

[kateelliott.livejournal.com]

I don't have advice because I actually have this same problem, and I'm also not really sure how to learn to celebrate more. Also, while I have two college age kids living in the house with me, my spouse is gone at least 50% of the time (it seems) due to his work, and my family lives on the Mainland, and my skiffy friends (my most closest friends) are all on the Mainland too, and it does seem that what I'm missing here are exactly those people with whom one is most likely to celebrate. I think I specifically associate celebration with other people, rather than with rewarding myself with something.

[desayunoencama.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think I agree on celebration being a social activity.

But in the absence of being able to do that, I should find ways to otherwise reward myself, I think--whether with something physical or an intangible (like permission to myself to take time off and not worry about work or whatever, especially if I'm taking advantage to do something fun and out of the ordinary).

[clarentine]

Can you maybe reward yourself by spending time rather than money? Do something you've always wanted to do, or go someplace ditto? Take a class in something neat?

[desayunoencama.livejournal.com]

A class is a nice idea, although my schedule is such that I'm not here reliably enough to make a class really feasible.

And I'm not very good at self-guided study, I need the structure of the class (or at least a study partner).

[clarentine]

I've found that, for myself at least, if I know that someone else is expecting me to show up, I'm much less likely to blow the event off!

[desayunoencama.livejournal.com]

That's how I maaged to go to the gym for a few years while in NYC, and one reason I've had difficulties keeping it up here in Madrid...)-:

Try this...

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

You have friends online. Hold a virtual party to celebrate. I've been to some good ones! People can describe whatever food, beverages, and entertainment they want to bring. You might even consider uploading a podcast reading of your work.

[darknote.livejournal.com]

celebration is a state of mind. if you feel like you're not celebrating and giving yourself enough credit for your achievements, surely you want to address it, but neither should you feel pressured to celebrate in a way that's other than your personality and life context. sometimes the symbolism is more important than anything else. Find something you enjoy that you wouldn't normally do and do it for no reason other than the enjoyment of it. drive the long way to the store, take a walk around the block, sit down in an airport and watch strangers go by, rent that movie you've been meaning to see, try that new brand of wine. Any sort of acknowledgement can help, and can maybe pave the way for you to discover other more significant ways of celebrating in the future if the need or want arises.

[wordslinger.livejournal.com]

Retail therapy can be fun. You could treat yourself to a day trip somewhere.

[brisingamen.livejournal.com]

At Wiscon this year I did something I've never done before and treated myself to something to mark the finishing of the BA (I bought a pendant from Elise, beautiful and with a meaningful title). It felt very odd ... I invariably look to others to mark my occasions for me because I don't know how to do it myself. So, I sympathise, but I'm not sure I know the solution.

[desayunoencama.livejournal.com]

Congrats, both on finishing the BA and on rewarding yourself for same.

Yeah, I think I've looked to others, too, to mark my occasions, and I'm trying to learn now how to do it for myself.

[kythiaranos.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on the award!

Not sure what to recommend in terms of celebrating--I'm pretty bad at that myself (usually I just buy more books). Maybe give yourself the gift of time? Go to a favorite place and recharge for an afternoon, see the sights, eavesdrop on interesting people . . .

Whatever you end up doing, I hope you have a wonderful time.

[janni.livejournal.com]

I need to find better ways to celebrate, too. Mostly I head out for dinner, but I still feel like I'm looking for something more to mark milestones, too.

I'm thinking maybe I need to throw a party when the next book comes out--though with the last book, which I also said this about, I found I grew oddly shy about it as the publication date drew near, and so never did it.

[desayunoencama.livejournal.com]

I haven't thrown book parties in a while, too, but then I haven't really had many solo books out lately, at least not here in Spain, mostly just the kidzbooks, and so those're joint-projects, and the other half of them (not to mention her family who usually helped with much of the prep) is pretty worn out on our doing book parties and so on.

But something to consider for the next upcoming solo book for adults I do...